This is my beer. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My beer is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I
must master my life. My beer, without me, is useless.
Without my beer, I am useless
I must drink my beer true. I must out-drink
my enemy, who is trying to out-drink me.
I must drink before he drinks. I will...
My beer and myself know what counts in this bar is not the
shots we drink, the noise we make, nor the cigarettes we smoke.
We know it is the caps we count. We will drink...
My beer is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus,
I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, it's
strengths, it's ingredients, it's brands, it's accessories, it's alcohol content.
I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage. I
will keep my beer clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready.
We will become part of each other.
Before God I swear this creed. My beer and myself are
defenders of the Bar. We are the masters of the drinks. We are the saviors
of the alcoholics. So be it, until sobriety is conquered and drunks rule.
There is no enemy, but sober people.
beer prayer
OUR LAGER
WHICH ART IN BARRELS,
HALLOWED BE THY DRINK.
THY WILL BE DRUNK,
(I WILL BE DRUNK)
AT HOME AS IN A TAVERN
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR FOAMY HEAD,
AND FORGIVE US OUR SPILLAGES,
AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO
SPILL AGAINST US
AND LEAD US NOT INTO INCARCERATION,
BUT DELIVER US FROM HANGOVERS.
FOR THINE IS THE BEER,
THE BITTER AND THE LAGER,
FOR EVER AND EVER,
AMEN
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