English as preferred language of the EU
Brussels, 18 March 2009
This will make communication among member states so much easier!!!
Ze drem vil finali kum tru
The European Union Commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather then German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accept a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euroenglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of soft "c". Sertainly sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up confusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governaments will enkourage the removable of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kointaining "ou", and similar changes vuld of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrion vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
Wanna be adored? Go to India and moo ...